Make A Proper Apology
Make A Proper Apology.
Today I challenge you to Make A Proper Apology. Yesterday you were challenged to stop fighting dirty and to identify ways that you have fought dirty in the past with your loved one. Now that you are aware of how you fight dirty go and make a proper apology and a commitment to no longer fight dirty. If there's nothing new to apologize for, then apologize for something you have yet to apologize for. This is not to rehash old wounds, however a heartfelt apology can clean and bring closure to any wound.
Raise your hand if you have a hard time apologizing. (I'm raising my hand) One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to make a proper apology as needed. Humility brings wisdom. Simply hoping things will just get better, ignoring it, sweeping things under the rug, allowing things to build up, etc only weighs your relationship down. Lift some of the dead weight from your relationship by making a good and proper apology.
Saying, "I'm sorry" just isn't enough. An apology is an expression of regret for something that you have done wrong. The formula for a proper apology is: I apologize for (state what you are apologizing for), I will not do (state what you will not do again) again. Do you forgive me?
Once you've made your genuine apology the next move is up to your loved one. If your apology is not well received, but you were genuine in giving your apology, don't worry; your loved one may just need more time. If you are on the receiving end of an apology then forgiveness is up to you. To forgive means to stop feeling anger and/or resentment towards the one that wronged you. Anger and resentment can lead to spite and bitterness. Remember, you do not forgive for the other person. You forgive for yourself. There is healing in forgiving. Once you receive an apology, and you forgive the individual please let them know that. For example: "I forgive you."
Now let's put all of that together in a scenario of Jack and Jill: Jack: Jill, I apologize for raising my voice and walking out on you when we were arguing last night. I will not yell at you and I will not walk out on you again. Do you forgive me? Jill: Thank you Jack for your apology. Thank you for agreeing to speak to each other calmly and to stick it out even during conversations that are not easy to have. I forgive you.
Today swallow your pride, go apologize, ask forgiveness, and forgive. You and your loved one deserve it.
